Horror Movie Review | Rogue (2007)

Synopsis: From the director of Wolf Creek comes this terrifying look at nature's perfect killing machine. When a group of tourists stumble into the remote Australian river territory of an enormous crocodile, the deadly creature capsizes their boat - trapping them on a tiny mud island with the tide quickly rising and darkness descending. As the hungry predator closes in for the kill, they must fight for survival against all odds.

My Review: I have been anxiously awaiting for this movie for some time now. Originally it was suppose to be released in theaters way back in early 2007, but kept getting shelved for various reasons. Finally out on DVD, I was able to enjoy another creature feature... you just got to love killer animal flicks. Directed by Aussie Greg McLean, Rogue takes place in the breathtaking Australian wilds. Mclean spends a great deal of time showing the viewer the natural beauty of his homeland. The film starts off with a believable group of tourists, including travel writer, Pete (Michael Vartan), who have paid to take a tour boat cruise with tour guide (Radha Mitchell) into the waters in the Northern Territory of Australia to watch the nature of the beautiful land and the crocodiles of the rivers.
While returning back to the resort they notice a distress flare up in the sky so they travel off course into sacred waters to see if anyone needs any help. Unfortunately they encounter a rogue large-ass crocodile that is hungry and pissed off that they entered it's lair so it crashes the boat into a small mud island, stranding the tourists. Well when night falls, the tide comes in and the little mud island starts to disappear and they soon realize that they better figure a way off the island pronto. Of course dry land is some 50-100 yards away and swimming seems out of the question with a hungry crocodile lurking about.The crocodile hunts them mostly at night so we don't get to see much of the beast in action. When he does strike, he moves so fast that the camera can't keep him up with him. Rogue may be no Jaws, but it stakes its own claim as a taunt "man versus nature" film, with believable characters, tense moments, and one of the best monsters to come from Down Under.The CGI of the crocodile was amazing and looked very real (the fluid way the beast slides into the water, gliding across the surface as it propels itself to strike is a very striking image).The ending was pretty good as our wayward hero stumbles into the monster's lair and does battle as only a horror movie hero can. The crocodile tries to get his giant head into a lot of nooks and crannies and managed to score a couple of contact wounds.
Overall, I liked this film a lot and it's the best killer crocodile film I have ever seen (much better than Primeval, Blood Surf, Crocodile, and Lake Placid). Highly recommend.

Movie Rating: 4.5/5

Horror Movie Review | Prom Night (2008)

My Review: I finally got around to watching the "remake" of Prom Night on DVD and then it has taken me some time to actually review it, so here we go. First off this is NOT a remake of the 1980 Jamie Lee Curtis film. The only similarity between the two is the title and that both films have a prom in them. That's it. Nothing else even slightly resembles the 80's film. I enjoyed the original immensely in my youth and I still think it holds up today, of course I love Jamie Lee Curtis, which probably makes me somewhat biased. But it had a great mystery as to the killer's identity and it was rated R.

Prom Night 2008 was mediocre at its best moments (I should note I saw the "unrated" version and cringe at what the PG-13 version must have been like). And those moments of suspense were scarce. The plot is simple enough: Brittany Snow plays Donna, the sole survivor of her family's massacre at the hands of an obsessed teacher (Jonathan Schaech), who returns three years later to finish his campaign on the eve of her senior prom. No mystery here.

Anyways, we get some killings, with little to no blood, the plot void of any real surprises or scares and there you have it… a boring slasher film. The script was ridiculously predictable and illogical at times and what was up with Brittany and mirrors? She would just stare into them for prolonged amounts of time (bathroom mirror, closet door mirror, you get the drift) daydreaming about her psychotic teacher? Whatever medication they have her on for nightmares and anxiety needs to be changed. On a positive note, the film did have an attractive cast with some mediocre acting (I blame the script) and it was shot fairly well, meaning it had the "look" of a potentially good slasher film, unfortunately Prom Night just fails to deliver and I would not recommend viewing.
Movie Rating: 2.5/5

Horror Movie Review | Shutter (2008)

Synopsis:
Remake of the 2004 Thai horror flick. Now set in Tokyo, newlywed hubby Joshua Jackson has taken bride Rachael Taylor (Transformers) for an ill-advised honeymoon. They hit a woman standing in the middle of a spooky road, after which all sorts of ghosts seem to emerge from Jackson's camera (he's come to Japan for a fashion-photography gig). Can our plucky heroine, a fish out of water in a confusing city, find the answer to this haunted puzzle? Well, yes, but she won't like what she finds. The movie also gets into the phenomenon of "spirit photography," which suggests that the dearly departed make their presence known as white flashes in snapshots (real fucking scary-NOT).
My Review:
I found the 2008 remake of Shutter to be rather dull and not scary at all. I really think the whole appeal to the Asian ghost story is dead (sucked dry is more like it). I admit I really enjoyed The Ring (but not the sequel) and that is about it. I disliked The Grudge, One Missed Call, Pulse and The Eye and the rest I have been fortunate enough to forget. The only reason I rented this flick was because of Joshua Jackson, and not even he could save me from boredom. I really can't say this movie had any potential and I would not recommend it. Another negative about the movie was that it had that freaky Michael Jackson looking guy from Nip/Tuck in it.
Movie Rating: 2/5

Horror Movie Review | Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)

Synopsis:
Risking everything in search of the ultimate rush is fun when you know you can't die. Angus Sutherland taking up where brother Kiefer left off in the original cult favorite is the lead vampire in this modern reimagining of The Lost Boys. The seaside village of Luna Bay is rife with outcasts and plagued by an outbreak of missing persons. As the sun sets the Tribe rises: a group of adrenalin-fueled thrill-crazed vampires tears up the surf and the streets with nonstop action. But when a champion surfer (Tad Hilgenbrinck) and his sister (Autumn Reeser) move in dark secrets erupt into hot-blooded passion and full-blooded fear. Helping fight the forces of hell: Corey Feldman in his signature role of vampire hunter Edgar Frog. Once you join the Tribe there's no turning back.
My Review:
Simply put Lost Boys: The Tribe isn't as good as the original, which I think most people would assume going into the movie, but with that said Lost Boys 2 is actually a surprisingly fun and wicked ride. I didn't really expect much, but hoped for at least a fairly decent horror flick, but it actually turned out a lot better than I thought it would. Much like the 1987 original, Lost Boys: The Tribe is campy and a bit silly, but it does step up on the gore and nudity. I thought it presented well-done gore and closely mimicked atmospherics of the original (one does have to take into account that this is a direct-to-DVD movie, but with that said the production values were much better than most movies released in theaters-anyone remember I Am Legend?)


What I didn't like was Corey Feldman, who I think is an incredibly bad actor. I just kept finding myself wincing every time he was on screen delivering cheesy line after cheesy line. Gee-I wonder why this guy does not work more. I imagine the only reason he was in the movie is to tie it more to the original (and hence sell more units). Also the music was OK, nothing like the soundtrack to the first, but again you really can't compare the two movies!


What I really dug about the movie, was the last scene during the credits, where we have Corey Feldman hunting his best friend Cory Haim (also from the original) who has apparently now become a vampire. Great setup for a third possible movie, which I would rent (even if Corey Feldman is in it). Overall, Lost Boys: The Tribe is not the "Suck-Fest" most people have been shouting out, but a fun entertaining flick... a great summer B-Flick.
Movie Rating: 3.5/5

Solstice (2008)

Synopsis: Before going off to college, Megan (Elisabeth Harnois-Why is she not listed on the cover of this DVD? She is the lead of the movie) and her friends take one last summer trip to the bayou, despite the recent suicide of Megan's twin, Sophie. Soon, Megan feels Sophie's presence, and as the friends try to conjure up her spirit, the horror begins. Shawn Ashmore, Tyler Hoechlin, Amanda Seyfried, Matt O'Leary and Hilarie Burton also star in this thriller directed by Daniel Myrick (The Blair Witch Project).
My Review: I was expecting a real stinker-but ended up with a surprisingly good movie. Direct-to -DVD, the story is your typical ghost story (girl dies and comes back to haunt) with a twist at the end that may or may not get you. That said it never gets cheesy or campy. However the directing, editing and cinematography are really good and make up for the slow pace of the movie. Shot in the Louisiana swamps-the movie looks very beautiful. I loved the opening title sequence and really dug the soundtrack. I even liked the song that was played during the closing titles. Also I really enjoyed the acting. I thought the main girl (Elisabeth Harnois) did a great job (and she did double duty by playing twins!).
The Bad: I would have enjoyed seeing some better looking guys since the twinks they had were shirtless in several scenes (Matt-some people should stay covered up!), no major scares, profanity was at a low and gore was non-existent. I expect gore and blood in a horror movie-but I guess this was more of a thriller. Like I said-I was expecting the worst but was pleasantly surprised. Solstice is no Blair Witch, but I was entertained and I would definitely recommend a viewing.
Movie Rating: 3.5/5

Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)

My Review: I had my reservations for this film, especially after the crap fest that was Resident Evil: Apocalypse back in 2004. But I really dig zombie flicks and I'm a sucker for a hot chick movie lead that kicks ass, so of course I did get excited when I popped this baby into the DVD player. Extinction is a big improvement but far from perfect or even what a Resident Evil movie should be. Low on story/character development but high on striking visuals and butt whooping in all of it's forms, Extinction managed to drag the series back out of the trashcan. The basic plot of Extinction is as follows:

T-Virus escapes, contaminates world, world becomes desert. Most living creatures become zombies who prefer human meat on the menu. Some humans survive - good guys (Ali Larter, Oded Fehr, Ashanti) form convoys and keep moving, bad guys live underground in high-tech facilities. Good guys look for more good guys and scavenge for supplies, and of course kill zombies. Bad guys look for cure and kill clones and zombies. Evil scientist (Dr. Sam Isaacs) gets carried away with evil experiments and needs Milla Jovovich (Alice) to use her blood to make anti-virus. Alice wants to keep her blood, and links up with human convoy. Many deaths follow. Ending leaves huge opening for next movie, possibly in Tokyo.

The CGI for Resident Evil has once again improved on itself; Everything blends in seamlessly with the real-world environment and the stunts are much more grounded with reality. The kukhri knives are probably the coolest and deadliest weapon used in the film, and the actual sequences their featured in are amazing. I really dug the zombie crows scene especially when Ashanti's meaningless role ended. What the hell was the point in having her in the movie except to appeal to a certain demographic?

Plot holes were abound as well (where is Jill Valentine? what happened to her from RE2?) and so were a string of tired clichés that I could have done without. If I see the whole “I got bitten by a Zombie but won’t tell anyone until I turn and attack them” device one more time...Aghh!!

All in all, Resident Evil: Extinction was a better film than I anticipated and being the highest grossing installment in the series, I expect we will have yet another zombie flick on the horizon.

Movie Rating: 4/5

I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

There are two sides to every crime.

Synopsis:

Aubrey Fleming (Lindsay Lohan) was living the small town life, until the day she was abducted by a sadistic killer. After a frantic search, Aubrey turns up alive, but changed. She is missing limbs, but has gained a new personality - that of bad girl Dakota Moss. Her parents and the FBI think she's suffering from delusions, but if "Dakota" is just a trick of her mind, why do strange wounds keep appearing on her body? Desperate and alone, Aubrey must now unlock family secrets to unmask a mysterious killer with a deadly obsession.

My Review:

As usual, I did not catch this movie in the theaters, but I did Netflix it when it came out last Tuesday. Honestly, I really wanted to like this movie, but I just could not get into it. I thought Lindsay's acting was atrocious and I know she can act (Mean Girls, Bobby,Freaky Friday), so I was surprised by how painful it was watching her.

Lindsay as a stripper? She danced like she had taken one too many sips of NyQuil. My grandmother is more animated than Lindsay/Dakota's pole-dancing routine. And what was that corset she was wearing that had the red sequins where her nips are. If your a stripper-than show your fucking tits!!! I blame this on the writer of the film. How can you have numerous "strip" scenes and not show ta-ta's. If your main actress is against nudity-get another actress or change the damn fucking script. Dakota Moss could have been a waitress at Denny's for all I give a shit.
Another gripe I have is when Aubrey is getting her fingers sawed off- she is waaaaayyyyy to calm during the act. She moans, screeches (Lindsay could not scream to save her life) and cries. My eyes would be popping out of my skull by screaming so loud. Note to Lindsay-you should have researched the Saw and Hostel movies to know how one acts when they are getting mutilated.

The music/soundtrack-I'm not even going to touch on how inappropriate and bad it was. It sucked!

I could go on and on about how bad this movie laid out (i.e. Aubrey's boyfriend comes to visit Dakota and ends up fucking her (minus her right hand and leg) while Aubrey's mother listens downstairs to the moans and vigorously scrubs the sink????), but I don't want to take all the entertainment value away from your viewing pleasure.

How this was not direct to DVD, I just don't know. I thought this movie sucked on many levels. The big twist at the end really didn't matter, because if you had made it to the end, you really didn't give a shit what was going on.

Interesting side note-It would be really interesting to see David Lynch direct this movie and how different and better the end product would be.

Oh-one last thing. Lindsay (at times) looked really orange and it was freaky. Stop with the self-tanning!

Movie Rating: 2/5

Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007)

Movie Synopsis:
Sarah Wolfe (Ali Larter) was the only living survivor from the massacre at the Vanacutt Mansion, but no one believed her claims that ghosts were responsible for the gruesome murders that took place there. Now her recent and questionable suicide leaves her sister, Ariel, no choice but to devote herself to finding out who - or what - was responsible for her death. Ariel (Amanda Righetti) discovers that Sarah sent her the diary of the sadistic Dr. Vanacutt just before she died, offering clues to the diabolical evil that resides within the house. But the diary also makes Ariel a target in a deadly treasure hunt that leads a group of unwitting victims back to the Vanacutt Mansion, reawakening the terror imprisoned within the house on the hill. This time, the house and the evil spirits inside are out to make sure that no one leaves alive.

My Review: Honestly, I kind of dug this movie. OK it was a b-movie and by no means as good as the first installment: House on Haunted Hill (1999). But I enjoyed the creepiness of the setting as I have always been intrigued with the concept of the haunted hospital/asylum. The ghosts and death scenes were well done ( for straight to DVD) and this film dives more into the history of the house and gives us more insight into why and how the house is the way it is. Sure, there are several plot holes (i.e there were two survivors from the first movie), but does one really watch horror movies for plot direction and award-winning acting? Fuck No! We watch to see gore and violence. We watch to be scared if not amused by repetitive cliches. We watch to see stupid motherfuckers get cut the fuck up. Anyway, I enjoyed this short movie (clocking in about 1hr and 20 mins) and really enjoyed seeing Amanda Righetti (OC, North Shore & Reunion) again. Why is this girl not working more?
Movie Rating: 4/5